


Kiss

by remanth



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bunker, Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, M/M, human!Cas, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2013-08-25
Packaged: 2017-12-24 13:41:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/940643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remanth/pseuds/remanth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas finally finds a way to explain why he always invades Dean's personal space.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss

Cas stalked into his bedroom in the bunker and slammed the door. It was childish, an act of defiance that calmed him even as he had to laugh at the absurdity of it. After all, he had been a millennia-old angel before he fell. Cas had watched the distant ancestor of human crawl out of the sea and the slow march of evolution that led to humanity in all its terrible glory. The march that had led to Dean Winchester. Throwing himself on the bed, Cas crossed his arms over his chest and glared up at the ceiling. Dealing with human emotions was like riding a rollercoaster and sometimes Cas was overwhelmed. This time, anger at Dean, or maybe about Dean, had sent Cas into the refuge his room had become.

“I hate this,” Cas muttered for what felt like the hundredth time. He’d been human for a few months now and had only made it back to the bunker three weeks before. Staying away had seemed like the best option at the start. After all, Cas had caused all of this by trusting the wrong person yet again. He didn’t think there would have been a warm welcome waiting here. And it hadn’t been all that warm but wasn’t as distant and cold as Cas had expected. He’d been welcomed and had picked out his own room. Sam had walked Cas through some of the finer points of being human with Kevin helping every once in a while. After a long conversation with Dean, which took place in Dean’s room when Sam and Kevin were conspicuously out of the bunker, Dean took over teaching Cas about living as a human.

Some things were still completely incomprehensible, like cooking, but Cas was managing. Eating was actually rather enjoyable and he’d come to love pie nearly as much as Dean did. Eliminating waste and dealing with personal hygiene was just plain annoying but Cas came to see the necessity of it after Sam had had a quiet talk with him. Cas even had a selection of clothes other than the suit and trenchcoat, hand-me-downs from Dean as Sam’s clothes were too big and Kevin’s too small. Even after a few washings, the t-shirts still smelled like Dean. Cas found that comforting, which might be one of the reasons why he was so frustrated now. There’s was a... closeness that Cas felt that had only intensified now that he’d become human. The only words he could give to the feeling were “profound bond” and even that wasn’t quite right.

“Damnit, I understand personal space,” Cas continued, using one of the swears he’d heard Dean say before. There was something deliciously sinful in swearing though Cas didn’t let himself indulge in it often. Talking to himself was another habit that Cas had picked up. It was easier to figure things out when he talked through them. “That wasn’t the point, Dean. I don’t know what the point is but I _want_ to be close to you.”

“Cas?” Dean’s voice called through the door, interrupting Cas’s monologue. Glaring at the door accomplished nothing, though it did make Cas feel a little better. Taking his anger out on inanimate things was better than taking it out on the people here. He’d felt so guilty and ashamed the first time he’d yelled at Sam. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, fine,” Cas called back, not bothering to keep the irritation and anger out of his voice. Dean obviously heard it, opening the door slowly and glancing in before walking in. He shut the door behind him and settled back against it, crossing his arms over his chest nonchalantly. Cas ignored Dean and went back to staring at the ceiling. He didn’t even know where to begin with the argument they’d had and the finale of it he’d walked away from.

“So,” Dean said after a few moments terse silence. “Want to explain what happened there, Cas? Why are you sulking?”

“I’m not sulking. I’m thinking,” Cas replied irritably, flicking a glare in Dean’s direction. “What do you want, Dean?”

“I want to know why you spazzed out when I reminded you about personal space,” Dean answered. “You never do it with Sam or Kevin. Why are you always so close to me? I feel like I can’t turn around without running into you. Literally.”

Cas huffed out a deep breath and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Heaving himself into a sitting position, Cas fixed Dean with an intense look. He studied Dean for several seconds, feeling a flash of warmth that he’d come to associate with affection flow through him. But there was something underneath that, something that burned like the lightning he’d used to dance among during thunderstorms. And that, Cas didn’t understand. After thousands of years of watching humans, Cas felt like he should know, should understand exactly what he was feeling. That only added to the frustration.

“I’m not sorry, if that’s what you’re looking for,” Cas said suddenly, tilting his head to the side. “I want to be near you, Dean and I won’t apologize for it.”

“That’s fine, Cas,” Dean replied, confusion flitting over his face. “You’re my friend and you’re like family. I can understand you wanting to be nearby. But do you really have to be basically plastered to my side?”

Sighing, Cas ran a hand through his hair. Dean didn’t understand and Cas couldn’t figure out how to explain it. How can a human understand the thrill and danger of dancing with lighting and feeling the sharp tingles from each bolt? Was there anything that might compare that Dean could relate to? Thinking quickly over the movies and things Sam and Kevin had introduced him to now that he had free time, Cas smiled as he realized there might be something he could do to explain. It felt like a starburst in his mind as pieces finally clicked together. Meeting Dean’s eyes again, Cas stood up and walked towards Dean, intent and determination painted in every line of his body.

“Uh, Cas?” Dean asked, feeling suddenly as if he was being stalked. He shifted uneasily, uncrossing his arms and standing up straight. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to explain, Dean,” Cas replied, letting his voice turn Dean’s name into a caress. He wasn’t an idiot, he just had no experience in something like this. But after realizing exactly what the deeper burning was, Cas knew what to do. You don’t watch humanity for countless years without picking up a few things. And he had to admit, seeing Dean discomfited was interesting.

“Explain what? Why you feel the need to be so close?” Dean asked, fidgeting a bit as Cas stalked ever closer. He let out a quiet breath when Cas stopped just a few inches short of him, invading his personal space yet again. Though if Dean were being honest, he didn’t mind terribly. He just didn’t understand _why_. And having the former angel so close was like an itch under his skin that Dean couldn’t scratch because Cas was... basically untouchable for a man like him.

“Just stop talking,” Cas ordered. He stepped even closer and carefully, gently, grabbed Dean’s shoulders. Taking a second to look deep into Dean’s eyes, Cas leaned forward and kissed him. It was a chaste kiss, a barely-there press of lips. But it was enough, Cas hoped. After a few seconds, during which Dean stood completely frozen, Cas stepped back. That was an answer, he supposed. After all, why would Dean want anything like this from him, when he couldn’t even trust Cas not to break the world? With a sigh, Cas turned away and headed towards his bed again.

“Where you going?” Dean asked, voice more gravelly than Cas had ever heard it. “You can’t just kiss me and walk away.”

“Look, just forget it,” Cas replied, stopping but not turning around. He wrapped his arms around his waist, just wanting Dean to leave now. It would be less awkward that way. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for the times I screwed up, Dean. I’m sorry that you can’t trust me. I’ll... I’ll stay out of your way.”

“That’s not what I meant, Cas,” Dean argued, moving up behind Cas and putting a hand on his shoulder. “You can’t just kiss a guy out of the blue and expect him to react right away. You think I didn’t want it, right?”

Dean waited for Cas to speak and had to settle for a shallow nod. That was all the answer Cas was going to give but Dean could read dejection and sorrow in the set of his shoulders and the arms wrapped around his stomach. With the hand on his shoulder, Dean turned Cas until their eyes met and smiled. Cas smiled back slowly, wonder dawning in his eyes. Just as slowly as Cas had moved, Dean leaned down and pressed his lips to Cas’s. This kiss was longer, less chaste, and full of promise waiting to be acknowledged. And that was all it took.


End file.
